COPING WITH PROBLEMS

6 May 2016 12:45 pm By Sirohmi Gunesekera (Teacher, Attorney-at-Law and Researcher into Human Relations & The Family Unit)

oh dear!. I don’t feel like getting up in the morning as I am overwhelmed with problems. There seems to be no end and no solutions. I just don’t know what to do.”said Norma.

“Everyone has problems, my dear! The trick is to look at what you can handle for the day, just for Today. Tell me, what is your major worry?”asked her husband Suresh. “Well, our son Malik’s exam is round the corner and he is not studying.”said Norma. “So what can you do? Don’t worry yourself sick over your child. You can’t study for him. Let him handle his exam and just see that he eats, drinks and sleeps which is all a mother can do. If he fails, Malik will have to face up to it and you and I together will sort things out then. Don’t worry about tomorrow, just cope with Today!” he advised her.

Money

Her husband then put his arm around her and Norma smiled warmly at him. “What else is worrying you?”asked Suresh. “Well, I always worry about not having enough money. We have to pay our rent and school fees as well as spend on food and other essentials.Yesterday, our daughter Nelun told me that there is a hole in her shoe. My heart sank for new shoes will cost a couple of thousand rupees.”said Norma. “Let her wear torn shoes for a while until I get my salary. We should not spend too much outfitting our kids. After all, you and I grew up poor and we should not spoil our children. Then when they are grown, they will be able to face hardship for who knows what the future holds for them? We  cannot guarantee a trouble-free future for anyone.”said her husband.

Comfort

“You are so comforting, darling. I know that I don’t say ‘darling’ often except to the children. Maybe we should talk and hug each other more often. Then we won’t allow the world’s problems to get us down.”said Norma, kissing her husband. ”Wait a minute. We have other problems too. The light bill is high. Maybe we should have a family discussion and decide on ways to keep our electricity and water bills lower. After all, once this hot season is over, we don’t have to keep the fan on all night.”said Suresh. “We also have to save enough money to buy our own house and car.”said Norma. “That is for the future. Let us try to save what we can but not worry about big things. I know that paying house rent is a killer but maybe we have to wait till we get a windfall. Who knows? We may win a sweep!

Joint decision

Both husband and wife decided that they would share what was worrying them and live for the day. “Let us have a positive attitude and count our blessings just for Today!”said Norma and Suresh together. (All names are fictitious)