LW

[Asks Sirohmi Gunesekera
(Teacher, Attorney-at-Law and Researcher into Human Relations & The Family Unit)]

Do you think that all women must dress modestly and not invite undue attention from men?

Then what do you think of girls who wear strappy tops and see-through blouses and miniskirts? Do you disapprove wholeheartedly?

Come with me inside the mind of a boy. Let’s call him Asitha. Like the average youth, he has been spoilt at home and his mother gives in to him at every turn.He is now a teenager and becomes interested in girls. His mother has not told him anything about sex and his knowledge is confined to furtive glimpses into porn magazines and discussions with other boys. His parents stop talking about so-called ‘adult’ topics and switch t.v.channels when sexily-dressed girls are performing. Hence his curiosity about sex is at an all-time high.

One day, he finds himself alone in a lift with a girl. She is dressed in a tank top and a miniskirt. He grabs her and tries to feel her body. She screams and they arrive at the next floor where she escapes out of the lift.

Now who is right and who is wrong?

I have no doubt that most of you would say, “She asked for it by dressing provocatively.” You would say that she revealed her body and he was tempted.

But I beg to disagree. Men and women have a right to dress in any way they like. Clothes are meant to be worn with an air and fashions decree that parts of the body are on show at times.

To me the fault lies in the upbringing of the youth. EVERY BOY SHOULD BE BROUGHT UP TO RESPECT ALL WOMEN EVEN A SEX WORKER OR PROSTITUTE. BESIDES, ALL MEN(AND WOMEN) SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO CONTROL THEIR URGES, INCLUDING SEX.

There is no point dividing women into good women and bad women. Most traditional fathers and mothers bring up boys to respect so-called ‘good women’ they can marry one day and so’called ‘bad women’ they can have fun with . This is absolutely wrong.

Having sex is not something dirty and shame-faced. Men and women enjoy having sex provided they have not been brainwashed. Parents should have frank discussions with teenagers “whose hormones are raging” and encourage them to talk about sex so they will not be curious. I have spoken openly about sex with my son and daughter and as a result they are not curious about it.

It is important that teenagers are dissuaded from experimenting with sex and that they are told that there is a time for it as consenting adults. Sometimes, kissing and cuddling may be allowed in a relationship between a girlfriend and a boyfriend, provided they do not go beyond that.

Even kissing on the lips and hugging should be confined only to those in a relationship and casual lovemaking should be frowned on.

Of course, television and films along with the Internet mean that sex is more visible and men and women may be tempted to try it out. This is why it is so important that parents and teachers tell young people the dangers of experimenting, including the danger of contracting HIV AIDS which can be sexually transmitted.

Since boys are not properly educated, it is wise to refrain from dressing provocatively in public but let us start by informing men and women about the need for self control in every situation.

Why are you greeting the world with a little Mona Lisa smile when you really feel like flashing a great big grin?

Few things can age a woman’s appearance more quickly than bad teeth. When you were young, a little dental neglect might have led to an occasional filling. But as you get older, ignoring your teeth can set you up for more serious problems, such as periodontal disease (gum disease). And if not arrested promptly, long-term neglect can eventually cause you to lose teeth entirely.

But what if you’ve always been conscientious about care? Age still brings changes in the appearance and health of your smile. Years of chewing wears down tooth surfaces and actually shorten your teeth. Gums recede with age and even careful brushing has its downside if you’ve used the wrong technique for decades. Hard scrubbing wears down the translucent enamel coating of your teeth so that the yellowish material underneath, called dentin begins to show through. Many otherwise lovely women as young as age 40 are frustrated dingy-looking teeth. AM I OLD OOH NO.

As you age, your teeth will also show the telltale signs of years of indulgences. Coffee, tea and food dyes can work their way deep into microscopic cracks in the tooth enamel, resulting in brown or yellowish stains. Even with scaling & polishing you can’t have a better result.

When you were young, the dreaded cavity count might have been foremost in your mind when you went to the dentist. But these days, your dentist will tell that the greatest enemy to your mouth is not cavities but gum diseases.

There’s little moat around each tooth that forms a tiny crevice between tooth and gum. When bacteria get in and linger, they cause inflammation, which overt time deepens the crevices into pockets. As the inflammation simmers, bones, gums and connective tissue may get eaten away, leaving you with less foundation to hold your teeth in place. All that simmering can also cause soreness and bleeding as well as bad breath.

The other enemy is cavities (Yes they still count). Cavities start when a sickly film called plaque builds up on your teeth, trapping bacteria and bedding decay. Even though you may not have gotten many new cavities in your first years of adulthood, hang on that toothbrush. Many women approaching middle age begin to get cavities along with gum disease. That’s because as gums recede with age, the root (which has no protective enamel) is exposed to decay.

It is high time to visit the dentist.

I really want to attend to my teeth
I have enough funds to attend my teeth
I have enough time to spend for that.

My young smart children are ever ready to take me to the dentist.
“AMMA, TELL US WHERE EVER YOU WANT TO GO TO GET TEETH DONE”

BUT? BUT? I FEEL VERY NERVOUS WHEN I THINK OF BEING AT THE DENTIST CHAIR. I DON’T KNOW WHY? BUT I DIDN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WHEN I WAS YOUNG. HOW AM I GOING TO COME OUT OF THIS PROBLEM?

ARE YOU IN THIS CATEGORY?

Be frank with your dentist.
It doesn’t matter to shop for an understanding dentist who can understand your fear

Ask for a demo, ask your dentist to explain unfamiliar procedures step by step and to demonstrate how he’ll use the instrument. Ask what sort of sensations to expect while the work is being done.

Plan to communicate. Ask your dentist to alert you to any upcoming pinching or pressure, so you can relax in the meantime and agree on hand signals that will tell her when you want to sit up for a minute, pause or rinse.

Use relaxation techniques. Try deep breathing, concentrating on a pleasant image such as a day at the beach or listening to your favourite tunes on a headset to soothe your stay in the chair.

Ask for more pain relief. If you need extra anesthesia, go ahead and ask. Post surgical pain can be relieved with good pain killers.

Await
I am hoping to discuss some wonderful treatment plans for your problems in the next issue.

The Discovery

They were a middle class happy family with Bandara working at a bakery whilst Malkanthi supported in various other ways to collect money to bring up their children. Two years ago, when Bandara got up from bed one morning, he discovered that he could not see. When he mentioned to his wife, at first she thought that he was joking. A few minutes later, Bandara assured her that he had lost his sight. Malkanthi, his wife, was disappointed, but was courageous enough to take him to the best doctors in the country, unfortunately, the doctors could not help them, but recommended that if they take him to India, they would have a better chance of curing. Malkanthi is a strong woman, so along with her children, she managed to save up enough money to take their father to India.

The bitter truth

As we know, going to another country means a lot of funds should be available, so she started making a living by preparing and selling breakfast and lunch. Then, she managed to rent a small boutique at Sri Gunananda Mawatha, Kotahena and still continues to make a living. They live in a small place down the same road and with them two other families live in the same house. The support she receives from her parents and the rest of the family is immense when it comes to helping them look after the children, especially her younger sister takes care of the studies of the two children. When they finish their school work they stay in the boutique with Malkanthi and support their mother by just being by her side observing the hardships she has to go through to provide for them. The two children are very well brought up, as they understand at a young age and keep praying everyday to GOD, to provide their father with sight.

Supporting all the way

Malkanthi was very positive, that her husband will definitely be cured, and she continues to believe in God. “with God all things are possible…” (taken from the Holy Bible of Matthew 19:26) were the words that she uttered as we stepped in to a very small house with barely enough room to turn, but they are happy that they are together. In most cases, we have noticed that when something happens to the spouse, instead of helping get back they just leave, whether husband or wife, but those like Malkanthi belong to the category of those who have faith in GOD and wish to steer the family out of the hardships they face.

The cry of the children and Malkanthi

When we went to their place, the only cry from the four of them were to provide some assistance to bring back his sight. The first time she managed to collect money and take him to India, but it had to be a constant practice, as the doctors had advised that they should visit at least every three months for medication. This is a hard task that Malkanthi tries to fulfill. The articles carried in the media supported them once about a year ago, but now she is humbly appealing to anyone who could let her beloved see again. “My children and I can make a living by selling the breakfast and lunch packets but if their father could see again, he too could support and we will be able to build our own house and raise our kids to be good citizens. When articles were published, there were some who supported by way of cash and I am truly grateful to them, we even received a little bit of money from the President’s fund but still it was not enough. I will not have to appeal like this if Bandara had his sight, as then we could have managed to support ourselves, but please help us in this time of need…” were the words uttered by Malkanthi with tears in her eyes.

Please help my father see us again…

Her appeal is simple and what we hope is that there will be someone out there who could reach out to her and regain her husband’s sight. If you could support Bandara, please call 0724188577 or write to them at 60/22, Sri Gunananda Mawatha, Kotahena.

Why do pregnant mothers have nausea and vomiting ?

Nausea or feeling sick, and vomiting is a very common symptom in early pregnancy. Nausea and vomiting can be one of the first signs of pregnancy and usually begins around the 6th week of pregnancy.

About 50 – 75% of pregnant women feel nausea or vomit during early pregnancy. It is important to understand that some pregnant ladies do not have any sort of nausea or vomiting and it is not uncommon for some pregnant ladies to panic when they do not have nausea and vomiting thinking that pregnancy is not healthy in the absence of nausea and vomiting.

Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy is often called morning sickness, but symptoms can occur at any time - not just in the morning and also it may start as early as 4-5 weeks or later within first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Symptoms are mild in most cases. Feelings of sickness (nausea) typically come and go. They usually last between 1 and 4 hours at a time. Some women have more severe symptoms and have frequent and/or longer bouts of vomiting. In most cases the symptoms have gone by 12-14 weeks of pregnancy. However, about 10 out of 100 pregnant women have some nausea throughout their pregnancy.

If you experience excessive vomiting and cannot keep your food down, you may have ‘hyperemesis gravidarum’.ie severe vomiting specific for the pregnancy. Hyperemesis gravidarum can be harmful to you and your baby if severe and left untreated. This is due to the possible lack of nutrients and electrolyte imbalance. The most important thing is to inform your doctor when these symptoms appear and discuss possible options for treatment.

The cause of the sickness is not known. It is probably due to the hormone changes of pregnancy. Some think that it is related to the amount of a hormone produced by the placenta called Human Chorionic Gonadotrophin(hCG) and hence excessive vomiting is commonly seen in twins where the placental mass is more with increased production of hCG. This is a reason for every pregnant woman who has severe vomiting to undergo an ultrasound scan to see if she is carrying twins.

But it not usual to get excessive vomiting for the first time after 12 weeks of pregnancy. If you get excessive vomiting for the first time after 12 weeks it may be due to a hidden infection like a urine tract infection.

Can vomiting affect my baby?

Not usually. The baby gets nourishment from your body’s reserves even though you may not eat well when you are vomiting. The effort of retching and vomiting does not harm your baby or cause a miscarriage. The only time your baby may be affected is if you become very ill with dehydration which is not treated , resulting in accumulation of a harmful substance called ketones in blood and urine. When there is dehydration and lack of energy, the liver produces this substance (ketones) to provide energy, but this substance can be harmful to the baby.

Other causes of vomiting in pregnancy

Remember, not all vomiting may be due to the pregnancy - you can still get other illnesses. For example diarrhoea, blood in vomit, jaundice (yellow skin and eyes), high temperature (fever), and stomach pains may be due to an infection or some other problem unrelated to pregnancy. See your family doctor or Gynaecologist if these symptoms occur, or if the vomiting is severe and you suspect that you are becoming dehydrated. Even urinary tract infection, respiratory tract infection can give rise to vomiting. Hepatitis is another cause for vomiting. Hyperemesis gravdarum(excessive vomiting in pregnancy) should be diagnosed after exclusion of above causes for vomiting.

There are a number of do’s and don’ts you can try to help alleviate your symptoms.

Helpful Do’s and Don’ts:

Do:

Eat small meals often
Drink fluids 1/2 hour before or after a meal, but not with meals
Drink small amounts of fluids frequently during the day to avoid dehydration
Eat something ( Eg-cream crackers, toast ) 15 minutes before getting up in the

morning

Eat whatever you feel like eating, whenever you feel you can
Ask someone else to cook for you and open the windows or turn on fans if the odor bothers you
Get plenty of rest and nap during the day
Avoid warm places (feeling hot adds to nausea)
Sniff lemons or ginger, drink lemonade, or eat what you feel will relieve nausea
Eat salty potato chips (they have been found to settle stomachs enough to eat a meal)
Exercise

Don’ts:

Do not lie down after eating
Do not skip meals
Do not cook or eat spicy food

When do I have to seek medical help?

If you are experiencing excessive nausea and vomiting that prevents you from keeping any food down
If vomiting is accompanied by pain or fever
If nausea and vomiting persists well into the second trimester (after 13th week)
If you just don’t feel right

Morning sickness is the nauseated feeling you experience in your first trimester. It usually starts out in the morning and wears off as you become active throughout your day. Not all morning sickness remedies will work for you, but these are just a few remedies and comforts that have helped other women get through their day.

Hyperemesis gravidarum is a condition characterized by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss, and sometimes electrolyte disturbance. Mild cases are often treated with dietary measures, rest and antacids. Severe cases often require a stay in the hospital so that the mother can receive fluid and nutrition through an intravenous line. DO NOT take any medications to solve this problem without consulting your doctor first.

Do I need any treatment?

No treatment is needed in most cases as the symptoms are often mild.

Eating small but frequent meals may help. Foods high in carbohydrate are best, such as bread, crackers, etc. Some people say that sickness is made worse by not eating anything at all. If you eat some food regularly, it may help to ease symptoms. Eating a plain (or ginger) biscuit about 20 minutes before getting up is said by some women to help.

Some women find that a ‘trigger’ can set off the sickness. For example, a smell or an emotional stress. If possible, avoid anything that may trigger your symptoms.

Have lots to drink to avoid dehydration (low body fluid). Drinking little and often rather than large amounts may help to prevent vomiting. Try to aim to drink at least two litres a day. Water is probably the best drink if you are feeling sickly.

An anti-sickness medicine

may be advised if symptoms are severe, or do not settle. It is generally best to avoid medicines when you are pregnant (including herbal remedies as the contents are often uncertain). However, most medicines that have been used for morning sickness or hyperemesis have been used for a number of years and are safe. For example, many women have used promethazine , cyclizine, metoclopromide etc and there is no evidence that they harm a developing baby. Always see a doctor before taking an anti-sickness medicine when you are pregnant. If you have to take this medicine you have to take the pill with a sip of fluid you like most and wait for about half an hour for the pill to get absorbed.
Hospital care is needed to give fluids by a ‘drip’ in small number of women who become quite ill and dehydrated (low in body fluid).

What will the doctor do when I see him?

In addition to listening to your story, you will be examined for signs of dehydration ( water depletion)

As other illnesses like hepatitis, urine tract infections and chest infections also can give rise to vomiting. Your doctor will do some investigations to exclude a cause other than pregnancy for your vomiting.Therefore, your doctor will order some blood and urine investigations to aid diagnosis. An ultrasound scan will also be done if you have hyperemesis gravidarum to exclude a twin gestation etc.

Following history, examination and investigations, your doctor will decide on further management of your condition and admit you to the ward if necessary for correction of dehydration, electrolyte imbalance and vitamin deficiencies.

The Bank coincides the unique opening with the launch of the female DIVA Account
Standard Chartered Bank, Sri Lanka’s second largest international bank, recently launched an all women’s branch in Kirulapone aimed at providing greater financial independence to its female customers. This is the first all women’s branch by any international bank in Sri Lanka. The branch, located at Maya Avenue, was inaugurated by Standard Chartered Bank’s Madhavi Lall, Head of Human Resources for South Asia. The branch will have an all-women staff, including women security guards and janitorial staff, catering to its customers. The All Women’s branch will also hold regular workshops for women on financial planning and investment advisory.

Anirvan Ghosh Dastidar, Head of Consumer Banking for Standard Chartered Bank Sri Lanka, speaking at the ceremony today said, “Standard Chartered intends to be a leader in gender diversity by 2011. The need to achieve leadership in this area is driven by business imperatives and organizations have understood that if they do not address this issue they could face the prospect of losing 50% of the potential leaders of their workforce. In fact we are proud to be able to say that in Sri Lanka over 42% of our staff are females and 31% of them are in senior roles.

Standard Chartered launched this initiative inline with its strong focus on Diversity and Inclusion; empowering female leaders in the Banking sector and in the communities to attain their fullest potential. The Bank also has similar branches in Kolkata, India that offer this unique service for women customers with increased focus on offerings for women. The Branch will continue to cater to both male and female customers. Speaking at the inauguration of the All Women’s Branch, Ms. Madhavi Lall said, “Women are seen as major shapers in the market, with products and services designed specifically for women. Gender diversity is also a key component in creating an inclusive environment where each individual has an equal opportunity to maximize their potential and perform to the peak of their abilities,”

The creation in Colombo of a rural village with all its vital aspects is unique to the Cinnamon Grand. It provides visitors the chance not only to experience the ambience of rural life without leaving the capital, but also to enjoy typical Sri Lankan cuisine, witness entertainment that reflects the village lifestyle, learn about tradition and culture, and purchase authentic handicrafts.

The village is called Nuga Gama (nuga banyan tree, gama village), the reason for which becomes obvious when you glimpse the enormous banyan, probably two centuries old, that dominates the area.

Maha Nuga

Of the remarkable trees in Sri Lanka, the most awe-inspiring is the banyan (Ficus benghalensis). A fig species, the banyan evolves after seeds dropped by birds land in the crevices of a host tree, germinate, and send aerial roots to the ground. The host succumbs when enveloped with these roots: thus the banyan is called “strangler fig”. A mature banyan is characterized by thick aerial roots indistinguishable from the main trunk that enables the tree to grow extensive, shady canopies, sometimes 200m in diameter.

The banyan, common in both towns and rural areas, is named after Indian traders or banias, who often rested or conducted business under the cooling canopy. In Sri Lanka, where it’s known in Sinhala as maha nuga and in Tamil as arl, it provides an ideal meeting place for villagers. Fortunately, the banyan has no timber or fuel wood value. But the aerial roots are used in Ayurvedic medicine and to make ropes, and the leaves for fodder.

It’s sacred to Buddhists and Hindus. The Buddha achieved enlightenment under a banyan species called the sacred fig (Ficus religiosa), referred to in Sri Lanka as the bo-tree – the Sacred Bo-tree at Anuradhapura is believed to have grown from a cutting of the original tree. In Hinduism, God Shiva is invariably depicted seated under a banyan, which is considered to symbolize eternal life due to its seemingly unending expansion.

The maha nuga that’s the centre of Nuga Gama was originally located in a prime residential area, Captain’s Gardens, which was renamed Maha Nuga Gardens on account of the large banyan tree that stood within the extensive grounds. The maha nuga at Nuga Gama is not that particular tree, nevertheless it is no doubt related, and, as mentioned earlier, it is at least 200-years-old judging by the size and formation of the aerial roots.

The Entrance

Karatta

After exiting the Cheers Pub you follow a path to the left leading to Nuga Gama. The first symbol of village life encountered is a karatha, or cart, the type used for transporting people and goods. Other types still seen today include the elegant carriage, the tirrakale, at the southern town of Matara. In the past there were large carts pulled by a pair of elephants to carry large quantities of rice or heavy equipment.

Vegetable plots & endemic flora

Integrated within Nuga Gama is what is known in Sri Lanka as a “home garden”, which provides vegetables, medicine and useful products. Beside the path, note the cultivation of a variety of Eastern and Western leaf vegetables - lemon grass (sera), pandanus (rampe), curry leaves (karapincha), cabbage, red onion, spinach (nivithi), Indian penywort (gotukola), dwarf copper leaf (mukunuwenna) in addition, endemic flora such as the honey tree or mee (Maduka longifolia) – the bark and seed-oil are used to treat various ailments - the iron wood or Na (Messua ferrea) – the flowers are used as an astringent - and the fish tail palm or kitul (Caryota urens) – the fermented sap yields the alcoholic drink, toddy and an unrefined sugar called jaggery – have been planted to recreate the village environment.

Ambalama

Earlier, when rural people made arduous journeys on foot or by Karatha between villages, it was considered meritorious to provide a shelter where travelers could rest, even stay overnight. Such a structure, an ambalama, is an example of the island’s classic architecture. Fortunately some exist today (there’s one on the Kandy road). The smallest ambalama, represented at Nuga Gama, rests on four stones and consists of four corner pillars and a tiled roof. Larger ambalamas have carved pillars and compartments. No provisions were supplied but water-pots - pintaliya - were regularly filled. The ambalama also served as a gathering place for local inhabitants. Now visitors to the Cinnamon Grand can experience the refreshing atmosphere of this altruistic structure.

Bissa

Once the island was called the Granary of the East thanks to the hydraulic engineers who created magnificent irrigation reservoirs (tanks) to water the sprawling rice fields. The paddy harvests were - and still are in villages - stored in an ingenious structure, the mushroom-like bissa. Circular, but narrower at the base, it consists of a framework of sticks of the kuratiya plant tied by the vines of the eraminya and then plastered with clay. A bissa, which holds around 60 bushels, stands on a wooden platform and has an illuk-thatched roof that can be lifted with a pole for the farmer to store the paddy. To access the paddy there is a door at the bottom so the oldest seed can be removed first.

Pokuna

Another vital element of the village is the pond, or pokuna. The one at Nuga Gama has a delightful bridge and the surface is covered with the blue water lily (Nymphea stellata) or nil manel, which is Sri Lanka’s national flower. It is a symbol of purity and truth, has a sweet fragrance and is offered at Buddhist temples. Villagers use the seeds and tubes as a vegetable, and the leaves, stem and flowers as an herbal medicine.

Gama Gedara

A typical village dwelling, the gama gedera, provides visitors the opportunity to witness the pleasing and functional manner in which villagers live. The gama gedara is a simple structure basically made with clay that has a thatched roof of coarse grass called illuk. Check out the typical wooden furniture and household objects. Near the gama gedera is a well, or Linda.

Kamatha

Harvest is a special occasion, and the threshing floor, or kamatha, becomes the scene of varying rituals to ensure bountiful paddy, the unhusked rice. It starts with the paddy being reaped by the women as they sing special songs. And the sheaves then brought to the specially cleaned kamatha. Sometimes magic circles are drawn, sometimes an arecanut tree planted and magic items deposited. Always the person to whom the paddy belongs will worship and shed the first sheath. The women then come forward and add their sheaves. Buffaloes are yoked together and are driven round and round – often by young boys who talk encouragingly to the animals – till the last grain is extracted.

The kamatha at Nuga Gama will serve as an open space for nightly entertainment. Traditionally the floor provides a stage for Sokari, a drama usually held after the harvest, in which female roles are played by males.

Salawa

The salawa is a traditional hall - at Nuga Gama specifically an area for indoor dining that will also serve as a teaching area for children at weekends. A carefully selected programme will give children the opportunity to gain an insight into Sri Lanka’s arts, culture, crafts, history and traditions.

Kussiya

As the preparation of Sri Lankan food is complex and time-consuming, the kitchen – the kussiya – is always a busy place in the village home. So, inevitably, is the kussiya at Nuga Gama, where the cooks are all gifted village women, so the rural cuisine is truly authentic. It’s a traditional kussiya in every sense. The hearth, or lipa, uses a classic clay structure to raise the cooking pot above the wood-fuelled fire. Above it is a rack, or dummessa, where fish and beef are smoked. Clay pots of different shape and design are used. The nebiliya is a grooved dish that when moved in circular fashion removes grit from rice. The muttiya, to boil rice, has a wide mouth, while the etiliya, to cook curries, is shallow. A kitchen utensil of note is the coconut scraper, the hiramaniya. Come and watch your meal being prepared; delight in the aroma of the spices and the natural, organic scent of the vegetable.

Kade

The traditional Sri Lankan shop, the kade, formerly known as boutique (of Portuguese origin), is an integral part of village life. The proprietor, a mudalali, in earlier times invariably wore a banian (vest), sarong and Western jacket - and sported a moustache and konde, a knot of hair at the back of the head. He has always been one of the most affluent persons in the community as the kade is the commercial centre. Therefore it is a more urban structure than the traditional village buildings. Adjacent to the kade is a restaurant serving typical village meals. For breakfast try the kiri kenda with jaggery and an egg curry, for lunch seer fish red curry Jaffna style and watalappam (made from jaggery, eggs and coconut milk) for dessert; and for dinner the crab curry with murunga leaves followed by some delicious local fruit.

[by Sirohmi Gunesekera
(Teacher, Attorney-at-Law and Researcher into Human Relations & The Family Unit)]

Valentine is considered the day set apart for Romantic Love. Your lover will send you roses and chocolates and you end the day with a candlelit dinner under the stars in the night sky. Memories are made of special moments recalling Love’s Dream!

But I have news for you. You don’t have to have a lover to spread love on Valentine’s Day! All you need to do is to feel good about yourself and go deep inside to dig out a little love to be shared.

All of us have loveless periods in our lives and that’s when we welcome a smile and a kind word from someone. You really appreciate it when you are way down in the dumps.

Let’s go back to our childhood. Wasn’t there at least one person who cuddled you and made you feel good? It may have been your Mummy or your Grandpa. Just recall the memory and hold onto that when times are bad.

Or maybe you had a lousy childhood but now you have friends who care about you. Just one friend will do. Someone you can laugh and talk with and perhaps recall an anecdote from the past.

In each one’s life, there is at least one good period or some kind of light at the end of a dark tunnel. Even if your life was all misery, maybe you had someone with whom you could share the experience and that is enough. So come Valentine’s Day and you are ready to give and receive love by the bushel, scraping the bottom of your barrel to find remnants of love to give away.

Cherish a moment spent with a loved one, perhaps your mother. How about giving her a single red rose to show you care? Never mind if all she does is grunt in response. You have poured out your love and that’s what counts.

Or take your neighbour’s little one out for a special treat. Take him to the chocolate shop and let him choose a chocolate-coated marshmallow to nibble. Then gift him a chocolate bunny to titillate his taste buds once he reaches home.

Are you broke? So you cannot afford to treat anyone. Then just take some blank sheets of paper and let’s make some Valentine messages. Take a red felt pen and write “Happy Valentine because you are Special” and decorate it with a smiley.

Or draw a pink rose and green ivy leaves and write “I care about you so smile on Valentine’s Day”.

You know the person you are writing to so give your message a personal touch and mention the name. “Trudy my dear, here’s a thought to make you feel good inside” and add a row of kisses in blue.

Isn’t it the thought that counts? Love is a feeling but it’s the thought of love that brings a smile to the face.

So what if your heart was broken last year? This is a New Year and hope springs eternal in the human breast. Who knows…the man of your dreams may be waiting to appear just around the corner. Be patient and meanwhile cultivate the love habit. Look for loving things you can say or do to everyone.

By Thilangani Jayawardena
(The Academy of Child Development & Child Psychology)

Starting school for the first time is a big experience for both children and parents and to make that transition to big school as easy as possible is of great importance.

First day of school is a giant step for young children, so it’s wise to be positive and encouraging about this new experience in their lives. As well as the excitement and eagerness surrounding your child going to school, there are elements of stress, not only for the child, but for parents as well. When some mothers wave their children off, they find to their surprise that the joy of their new freedom is also tinged with sadness and a few regrets.
It can be scary, handing your child over to another adult who will have a parent-like role in her life and teach her new ways of understanding the world.

There might be a few niggling doubts about your child moving away from the security of your home out into the wider community, becoming part of a “system.” And there’s the worry of the other children – their acceptance of her and the potential influence they may have. Anxious feelings like this are perfectly normal and often accompany other major life changes, for example, leaving home, moving house, changing jobs, giving birth. What is important to remember, is not let your anxiety flow through to your child. If she knows you’re confident and positive about school, the teacher and other kids in the class, she is more likely to be the same.

Memories of your own school days can influence feelings about school for your child. You may have been educated in schools where learning based on punishment, unapproachable teachers and unchecked playgrounds where bullying was just a norm. Psychologically, bad memories can unwittingly be carried over and passed on to the next generation, sometimes without parents being even aware that this is happening. Remember, that it is highly unlikely that the school your child is attending resembles the school you went to. Today’s schools try very hard to include parents in their children’s education.

Some parents may even have memories of different teaching methods and may get anxious that their children are not being ‘taught properly.’ Education is not static- ideas and methods change time to time. As we know modern child is naturally more advanced and they perceive much faster and better than children of pre computer era. Most children in today’s context develop on their own and at their own pace, hence, comparison would only prove disadvantageous, because it can limit or exaggerate a child’s potential. The aim for primary children is to track whether they, as individuals, are working to their ability, so try not to hassle your child’s teacher about his pecking order in the class.( On the contrary, it is of pivotal importance that teachers too are aware of this and make first days of school as relax and practical as possible.)

In the meantime, if you have doubts about teaching methods, resist discussing this with your child or with other adults in your child’s hearing. The best approach, always, is to discuss the matter with teacher or better yet, with the principal of the school. Starting school though seems to be a highly thrilling exercise, for most children it becomes a strain once the excitement dies down and they realize it’s a permanent arrangement. Some children find having to learn new rules and discipline more difficult than others.

Where children are concerned, starting school also involves the life-long task of learning how to make friends, how to control aggressiveness and how to stand up for yourself. So, along with the fun, there’s some serious stuff for children to contend with as they adjust to school life, and it’s wise to be prepared for the possibility of few ups and downs, especially in the first term.

Make a positive start

Make sure you go to orientation day at big school.
( only some schools have a special orientation day) This is a good opportunity for you to meet other parents and for child to meet some of the children who will be starting off with her.

Check that she has the same equipment as the other children, including the uniform and put clear name tags on everything.

Read your child one of the many excellent books that deal with starting school.

Keep expectations realistic- it’s amazing how many children think they will be able to read and write after their first day at school.

Tell your child what you’ll be doing with your day.

Before you take her to school, remind her to go to the toilet.

All teachers agree that parents should not hang around on their child’s first day. Give her a kiss, a hug, a cheery goodbye – and go.

Make sure she knows proper arrangements have been made for her after school – who will be picking her up and where they’ll be waiting.

Meet the teacher – at a convenient time. If you have a list of things to discuss, make an appointment rather than trying to get his or her attention at the beginning or the end of the day.

Six Tips to Relieve Stres

1. Aim for organized departures – allow enough time for breakfast.

2. Keep the vibes around the house positive and send your child to school happy.

3. Take time for hugs and cuddles when you are together again.

4. Try not to badger your child with endless questions about her day. Give her the space to talk if she wants to, but accept silence on the matter of school if that’s what she’d prefer.

5. Ensure that your child gets a good dinner before she’s too tired to eat it- and enough sleep. Encourage her to go to bed and read books rather than spend hours in front of the TV.

6. Watch for signs of stress, such as sleeping difficulties, clinginess, fussy eating, stuttering, eye blinking, bed-wetting or baby-like behavior. Many children show some of these symptoms in a mild way , but if they increase in intensity, arrange an appointment with the teacher or ideally with a child counselor.

[by Shabnam Farook]

It was a sheer eye candy to watch Hilton Colombo’s newest collection of designer cakes, take to the catwalk; tempting onlookers with chic looks that make your heart skip a beat. A quick glance at the cakes was enough to send your taste buds into a state of frenzy.Edible works of art is the perfect to describe the spectacular selection of designer cakes created by Hilton Colombo’s pastry whiz of repute, Executive Chef Gerard Mendis and his talented team. The cakes which seem perfectly suited for royalty, looked extra ordinarily beautiful and elegant, just too good to be true. It was with much reluctance that the cakes which were made to perfection were cut and served but once you’ve got a sumptuous slice of heaven on your plate, surrendering to the temptation is the best way to go.If you’re planning an event and have dreamt of having a cake that is a memorable centerpiece, as special as the occasion itself then a masterpiece from Hilton Colombo’s designer cake selection is the answer to your prayers.

The simply irresistible cake selection is sure to bedazzle and delight with its rich flavors and intoxicating combinations that make you hunger for more.Executive Chef Gerard Mendis tells LW “Hilton Colombo launched a premium range of designer cakes in line with global trends. It’s not surprising that just like fashion trends change periodically, cake trends too change every six months or so. These designer cakes are not what you call ordinary; they are special cakes that are made with the premium quality ingredients which make them rich in taste and texture.

The cakes which are available at the Fine Things Pastry Shop and at the Thorana Lounge “The Blend” high tea have been well received.”The delightful selection included Honey Comb -a rich chocolate fondue on a baked New York Cheese Cake, White Chocolate Gift Box - Ribbon Cake with butter icing, covered with Marzipan and sprayed in white chocolate, Chocolate Pyramid - Chocolate macaroon mousse with Ameretto sponge and a nut brownie, Purple Velvet - Butter Ribbon Cake, Chocolate Brownie, Crispy almond bisquit wrapped in Marzipan coated in white chocolate, Butter Scotch - Butter Scotch Mousse Cake with rum soaked sponge and layer of crispy almond shell, Leaf Cake - Mocha Mousse with Khaluwa flavoured white sponge on a layered Chocolate Cake, Butterfly - Blueberry Mousse with burnt custard on a chocolate chip mousse cake and a whole bunch of other tantalizing cakes that are meant for indulgence and indulgence only.Chef Gerard explained further “these designer cakes are perfect gifts for any occasion. It’s really nice to watch someone’s eye light up when you surprise them with a cake like this. These are top of the range cakes of world class quality so they are different, unique and trendy.

The designer cakes are made to suit both local and international palate and can be customized according to the client’s requirement.”So, head over to Hilton Colombo for a quick peek at their stunning designer cake selection and once you get there I’m absolutely certain that you’ll be bowled over by the fascinating looks and enticing tastes.The cakes are sure to be the centerpiece of any occasion be it fun, funky or fancy…

[by Shehara Rajapakshe]

Women love to look and feel beautiful. Hair and beauty plays a very important role to women of any social status, whether in Colombo or in the outskirts, we find that there are many salons that cater to the needs of the many ladies who would like to look and feel good. In the recent years, we can see a rapid progress in this industry and this month we feature a special lady who was lucky enough to work in Washington and be instrumental in styling the hair of a well known Senator Marsha Blackburn, for the “Capitol Hill Hair Show” and later on the famous Larry King Show.

Setting up business

Suleka Perera, a mother of two kids aged ten and seven (Saleena and Ryan) has introduced many new features at her spacious salon in Welisara (opposite McDonalds Welisara). Her outlook in life was very simple. She was educated at Good Shepherd Convent Kotahena and a few years later married Shehan Perera. She was intent on making good use of the time that she had at her disposal and then came across the advertisement for classes at Cheryl Gooneratne’s (Who at the time was attached to Ramani Fernando’s Hair & Beauty Salons )where she underwent training and became one of the most promising candidates. She was the second batch of Cheryl’s academy. Suleka is grateful to her mentors for supporting her with all their advise and guidence, which has contributed towards making her who she is today. She continued there for about three years and thereafter, in 2003, she started on a small scale by herself, in Wattala prior to the extensive training she consequently underwent in USA.

Opportunities and Experience

She got the opportunity to undergo training at Toni & Guy USA,Matrix,JC Penny Salons,Paul Mitchell & Graham Webb thereby giving her a wide knowledge from the experts and their products.On completion, she had the opportunity of working for JCPenny in USA for about four years. She said that it was an amazing experience for her as she had the opportunity of meeting many prominent personalities in the Capital of Washington DC. Once a year JC Penny sends a select few to work in DC and Suleka’s hard work and talent paid off with her being chosen as well Previously in 2004 while in Sri Lanka she was also awarded winner for overall hair cuts at the Bridal Show that year. All this experience and her license in cosmetology prompted her to open “ Hair Trends Salon & Academy “her new salon (opposite McDonalds,welisara) which will be starting to offer hair & beauty courses soon as part of the second phase of this venture.

Hair Trends

The salon offers a wide range of services for the whole family. From simple hair cuts for ladies, gents and children to the more funky or whatever style that would suit you to the spa treatments such as facials, manicures, pedicures etc. hair styling and re-bonding, curling, whatever beauty requirement or emergency that may occur and if you are a resident within that area, you would be able to indulge yourself for a whole luxurious treatment with her expertise.

Suleka has a team of assistants that support her all the way. The areas are segmented like in most salons, to beauty therapy, cutting and styling stations whilst also having a dedicated kiddies section decorated in lovely bright colours.The courses she will soon be offering will also be conducted in the same building thus giving students first hand experience and the opportunity to utilize the extensive facilities of a new salon.

Salon therapy for kids

Suleka says, “Most mothers dress well, but tend to forget the beauty of the kid. All kids are beautiful, so if you are going for a wedding with your eight year old daughter, she too would like to look and feel beautiful. We support them, in that we do their hair in such a way that it looks good and fresh and if they would like to have butterflies or small flowers on their nails, we simply paste a sticker so that it will be easy to take out after the function. Also, hygiene is very important, therefore, we provide information to all our clients, whether they be male, female or even kids, on how you could look after yourself without an extra effort. It is important to educate ourselves too all the time, especially as there are new trends that come in day in and out.

Her unforgettable experience

There are certain events that happen in life that become most memorable. For Suleka meeting Senator Marsha Blackburn was an experience of a life time. “Marsha Blackburn is the honoured congresswoman for the state of Tennesee and I did her hair for the “capitol hill hair show” on September 10th 2008. She left from “capitol hill hair show ‘’ that night for the Larry King show which was broadcast a couple of hours later. She was on the “Larry King show” that night with the hair cut & style that I gave and I am so grateful and proud as a Sri Lankan. Personally as a hair dresser, I was able to style one of the main congresswomen in USA and she was on one of the main TV shows and with Larry King. It’s really a dream come true for me, as I was chosen out of forty odd other stylists.”

How does she cope with the Salon and Home front?

My husband and I share our duties and carry them out to the best of our abilities. When the kids were small, as all new parents we did find it a bit difficult but once we got used to the system and trained them according to the way in which they should be, it was much easier. Saleena and Ryan are quite independent as well and among the four of us, we support each other all the time.

Women are very special species in life, they are hard to comprehend at times, and at times, they are the strongest alive. Being a woman is most important as they keep the home fires burning and the peace at home. A career woman is even more special as they have more responsibilities. When these responsibilities are divided, like in Suleka’s case between the husband and wife, marriage and family life becomes an absolute bliss.

We wish Suleka all the very best in her endeavours and we feature a before and after picture of a girl that walked in for a hair style and make up. These make- overs are done constantly at Hair trends and you could drop in and indulge yourself too and see the difference!